Friday 26 February 2010

Healthy marriage (with male headship)

Although I would have always said I had a good marriage I have always been aware that it is far from perfect and that many of the areas that could be improved rest with me. Last term (as a former teacher I still think of life in terms as do many churches) Beki and I did the Marriage Course at HTB, the home of the course, which was a great experience for us both and highly beneficial. Within the comfortable and, to some extent, intimate atmosphere on the course we were able to talk at length about communication, our family history, sex and other areas of our marriage that had at best been discussed superficially.
I also got hold of a pair of books called 'For Couples Only' by Jeff & Shaunti Feldhahn, that were recommended by Steve Tibbert. Based on extensive surveying of Christian married couples, these books, one addressed to men and one to women, were really insightful and a genuine blessing in how Beki and I understood each other.
I highly recommend both the books and the marriage course to any married couple ALTHOUGH........the issue of headship was not covered which remains one of the challenges in my marriage. I presume that this issue is a little too contentious for a generic course that is accessible to non-Christians but is I believe a fundamental principle in a Christian marriage.

Headship
The best teaching on male headship in marriage that I've seen so far has been from John Piper in a 2 part sermon from a series called 'Marriage, Christ and Covenant: One flesh for the glory of God', links below:

Listening to these with Beki was challenging and refreshing and helped us both, it is helpful if you both agree!, come to a better Biblical understanding over the issue of headship and submission within marriage. When you come to appreciate the reflection that marriage is of Christ's relationship with His bride, the church, then some of your personal hang-ups appear very trivial indeed. When you then hold up some of your issues in comparison to what Jesus accomplished through His life, death & resurrection then you are much more able to submit to firstly Him, and then secondly to the role He has asked of you within your marriage.

Already I am seeing the positive repercussions in all areas of my life as a result of making progress in my headship of my marriage and my family (not to say my church leadership).

Praying this snapshot inspires you (particularly men) to investigate this further.

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